Pic by @heaven_and_highwater
Speak from a place of love, not truth.
When I first heard such a notion in my 200 hour yoga teacher training, I was dumb-founded. I was a person who had always prided herself in being honest, strong and true. I spoke with little regard for others feelings, if it meant altering what I wanted to say in the first place. I felt if I did this, it would be dishonest, and lack integrity, because it would essentially be “sugar-coating” my thoughts. Right?
Be compassionate, as careful with yourself as you are with others.
I used to believe that by being brutally honest, and speaking the words as quickly as they came bubbling up, was a form of compassion. ‘I was waking people up.’ I falsely believed, that I was single handedly dropping the truth that would change peoples lives, not realizing, I was actually still operating from a place of ego, deep pain from trauma, and unbridled emotion.
In the months that followed, my personal spiritual journey yet again transformed my life. 200 hours of yoga teacher training, 3 years of consistent practice, Vegan, practicing daily meditation-& hiking everyday. I saw in those moments, just two weeks into my program- that I still needed so much growth.
The more we learn, the more we discover new unseen depths.
I thought… how magnificent. After time had its healing pass, I came to realize that this was an opportunity. How beautiful to witness consciousness evolution right in this moment, happening to you, right now.
Do what you love- love who you are- allow yourself the space to be imperfect.
When I heard this, I started crying, I laid on my mat and covered my face. Forgive myself? This would mean opening a deep ocean of emotional secrets. The more I unravelled the tattered frays of my past, the more I became dismantled.
Practice self forgiveness from all the “should haves” – and remember that YOU are a beautiful soul learning and growing just like everyone else.
I took off. I jumped in my car and drove to the mountains. If my consciousness was going to expand – it wasn’t going to happen in a classroom.. It needed thousands of miles and tops of mountain to grow.
What I found there, in those days in the mountains is as follows.
Pic by @heaven_and_highwater
Surrounded by city – I do my best to unscramble these thoughts. Inward my mind travels as I imagine my soul, a placid lake of forgotten dreams waiting to be awoke. With shores subdued in quiet, an expansive aquatic terrain of glass . . . silver and cobalt, reflects tiny starlight twinkles in her slithering wake. The lake she sleeps- stirring slightly only at midnight like a gentle giant. Her upper lip quivers delivering kisses made of silk, wet and firmly pressed against the omnipresence of the Moon.
In the black expansiveness of silence – I AM.
I source my own sense of being through her glassy, reflective eyes as I dwell. I swallow bubbles of air and dive below even the furthest reaches of the surface light. It’s quiet in the bottom of the lake.
I think I will like it here with no struggle to float, I can flow like honey. Here, the insistent restlessness of dog paddling for freedom, does not exist. I embrace the deep waters and there is no struggle. Here, I embrace my life as is -instead of fighting against it. Maybe the drowning is inevitable, to appreciate the breath upon its welcomed return.
Humans are such funny things with minds wound up so tight. We fire thoughts like coil springs against ourselves, waging wars and epic battles in the name ego, in the name of self-righteousness. I sit in coffee shops contemplating the days, when we all stop pretending to ignore each other.
Chatter regurgitates from below, stirring the pool. We begin to heat the mysterious lake we once hid beneath…killing the fish, boiling the plants, churning the air into toxic gas. All mythology, love and wild magic spirits slink away from the trouble we have begun to create with our spinning self-deprecating negative minds.
The reflection becomes troubled, skewed and tumultuous…we lose our connection to the higher source now unable to see the anchoring light of the moon.
We do not see at first that the reflection in this lake is representative of our connection to her- to him… to this unearthly goddess of light… an avatar of the everything that is inside us. We do not see- that which we desire, causes us this suffering. We do not see how we boil the water with our misguided thoughts.
Remember that there is no perfectly guilty party in life and no one who gets away scot-free. I say, do not succumb to the torture of loss. Let it wash over you like the tide. Let the burns heal and the internal battle fade into a blaze of your memory.
Life and amazingly wonderful things want to happen to you- sometimes you just have to get out of your own way to see it.
Pic by @heaven_and_highwater
Jump off waterfalls, go play in a park, meet someone new, buy yourself a fancy healthy dinner or cook an awesome meal for one. Don’t criticize- acknowledge- that this is where you are today. You are amazing and capable.
Breathe. Bend and Stretch. Help others. Be good to yourself. Love completely, practice random acts of kindness.
Let it go.
