I have suffered enough…
I think that’s what happened… Somewhere from the darkness, this knowing came. I have suffered enough! So quiet, it was that it must have merely dawned on me at some point and through the fog of despair this near imperceptible feeling became the catalyst that has propelled me to where I am today, such an advocate of yoga for PTSD.
As I conjecture, taking a moment now to look back, I wonder if God’s graceful and consistent whisper wasn’t, “you have suffered enough…” and somewhere deep within the one who was wounded, a hidden back door opened allowing said Grace to enter. Albeit unbeknownst to me at the time, as I was deeply identified with the one who was ill and couldn’t get out of bed, the pain so agonizing as to put me to the floor in tears, yet, Grace did come.
You see, that is the thing about trauma and PTSD (and why yoga for ptsd is so helpful)… One gets deeply wrapped up in the experience, so much so that there is no new experience, without the bodies memory of the impact of the event. And when it gets extremely bad, the body never comes out of fight/flight, the memory of the event no longer so prevalent as everything in the world around me is sharp and harmful… or at least that is what my nervous system can tell me.
As imperceptible as this feeling/notion was at the beginning, I can say now, looking back, that it gained momentum, slowly at first, oh so very slowly, and it did pick up, but jeepers the agony of it… I get it! What I am speaking about was mere months ago, and the gain in momentum is still variable, yet undeniably so, progress is being made… consciousness is expanding. Ultimately, something within me fully acknowledged that I had suffered enough.
And that’s when things around me began to change… starting with the pain, something began to release and all I can say is assistance showed up, every single time I needed it. Miraculous, in plain speak, but in retrospect, I can see the elegance of it all. God is not intending human beings to suffer. and yet we do… amazingly well, I might add! The Human Race has become earthly residential experts at it, and few succeed in completely becoming free of this uniquely human condition.
So I work at it… it’s not always easy… Sometimes, I am successful… most often I fall short. But I have found through my practices (yoga for ptsd) there is a Presence whom is always there for me when I falter and the forgiveness I struggle to give myself, is ever-present when I am tuned with it…
That is the work… imperceptible whisper heard from my bed of despair, but full on conversations, inspirations, vitality, direction and drive when I am feeling good…
I suffered enough… and yet, still everyday… I face the chasm; its yawn could envelope me, if I let it and when I remember to turn away from the observations that pull me toward that gaping yaw, I feel good! Needless to say, I have determined it is my responsibility to focus on that which allows me best to feel at ease in my being and have gained empirical evidence that doing so not only brings Joy, but also clears the way for an easier path with less obstacles and greater achievements.
Clarity comes and life flows easily. Dharma… Service in Action. Consciousness itself expanding on its leading edge, through YOU. That’s COOL! Right!!??
Something happens… call it a miracle (because no short of could it be!) Somehow… the point of identification can shift, does shift and we begin to see the wounded one and realize we can observe him or her. Rest in this awareness when it comes… nurture and allow it to return frequently. Find ways that work for you to cultivate this feeling, because it is a feeling only you will know and your way to it will be unique to you. Always remember, no matter where you are on your journey… teachers will come and go, leaders, too. You are the only constant and ultimately your unique way and practice will be revealed… to you, unfolded by you and realized by you. Yes, you will be guided, a student and a teacher, and you will experience many, many things… but, it will always be up to you to find your way hOMe when the cacophony returns, and it will return.
I am READY… are you? (Yoga for PTSD)
Join me at the Sedona Yoga Festival, March 9-12, 2017 for the first of its kind; Traumatic Stress, Healing & Resiliency with Yoga: an optional integrated training at the upcoming consciousness evolution conference held every year in the place I am blessed to call home. Each year, SYF becomes a platform for giving back, as we train yoga teachers, care givers and survivors alike to understand the needs of a significant population in our over-stressed American culture; those affected by Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and its often debilitating symptoms, consequences and effects. We have trained hundreds over the years and affected the lives of thousands. Yoga for PTSD works. Period.
This year we aim higher (holding space for 210 attendees…) and by integrating this optional track into the festival schedule, we believe we will see more graduates from this CEU approved series of master classes and workshops than ever before!
SYF GIVES BACK program faculty have always been carefully selected by Heather and I to provide the largest scope possible to identifying, understanding and solving the problem through the the Science of Yoga, Meditation and other energy medicine modalities. This year, several of the faculty have been monumental in my healing journey; their methods and teachings instrumental in my post-traumatic growth.
I can personally attest to the efficacy of these practices and if applied, consistently, diligently and with focus, one can experience a shift… relief comes, even if but for a moment, it comes… and it will lead to more.
And one day… not too far in the future, you will take a moment to look back and say, “I suffered enough… have you?”
“There is another way…”, You will say.